Monday, 17 March 2008

How far will you go?

How far can you go to meet a friend?

How much time and money are you willing to sacrifice to meet a friend of the same sex?

Ok, maybe he's a friend since 7 years old, and maybe he's the first person who also writes with his left hand that I knew.

But still, if it's ain't for UNESCO World Heritage Site No.592 near where he's currently residing, I won't even bother!

(dear friend, if you are reading this: I never meant to be so mean, I actually went there to see how your girlfriend looks like!)

Nevertheless, its worth every penny and all the time + effort to be able to witness one of the greatest building in the world -- Candi Borobudur.

Tell me you never heard bout Candi Borobudur and you have to be ashame of yourself. It's in the history textbook! Sejarah Dunia, form 4, remember?

I was told that the top of the building resembles a folded Bohdi leaf.
But due to ligthing damages,it now looks more like an overturned wooden bucket.

You can't get enough of the beautiful architecture, even the rain could not stop people from getting the best shot of Borobudur.

After Candi Borobudur, its time to visit the Prambanan Temple.

To be honest, I myself did not hear much about Prambanan Temple before my trip here, but it's a crime not to pay a visit to this place once in your lifetime.

The Indonesian government did a heck of a good job in turning the historical sites into cultural parks with acres of trees and grass, even Bambee likes it.

After all those unimportant visits to the blocks of old stones, its time to do the "main" thing that brought me to Yogyakarta.

To meet up with my long lost friend and take a picture with him and his girlfriend....haha......
That's how far I will go, just to do this! What a true friend I am........

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Ice Cream, the story of a .......

It was raining heavily.

What's better than to have an ice cream while stuck in the rain.

This is Choco Crunch.

Its description read :" I'm Choco Crunch. I am 10 minutes old, I am made of 2 scoops of chocolate flavoured ice cream, together with handful of crispy crunchy chocolate biscuit. Topped with some corn flakes and cherry, I feel sexy. However, I am a male ice cream, as you can see I have a dick."

Choco crunch was obviously not prepared to be consumed. He was afraid. He was sweating heavily. He wet the glass and also the table.

"Come on, torture me, bite me, kacau me! I am not to be intimated" he said in a desperate attempt of reverse physcology.

"I paid 20,000 rupiahs for you, you have to die."

"Enjoy yourself while dying. Hahahaha!"

That was the end of the story of the brave and big-dicked ice cream.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

It's time to 'jual mahal' Edward Beruang

*Copied without permission from a letter posted in, but its too good not to share:*

Malaysia is like a marriage. We, the rakyat, are the wives and our husband is the Barisan Nasional (BN) led by Pak Lah. The question is: Has our husband been faithful to us? Kept his promises to control crime, corruption and the cost of living? To care for our children's safety? Or has he taken us for granted - like a doormat - because he knows we will still love him no matter what? Despite whatever neglect from our husband, most Malaysians are not ready for divorce - yet. There are other boyfriends who want to woo us, but we will cling on to the BN like a faithful wife, hoping he will change for the better.

When we tell him that we've been hurt by widespread corruption and inflation he says, ‘Okay, Okay, I'll launch five more corridors just like the Multimedia Sleepy Corridor.’ We tell him criminals are snatching handbags and slashing women on the streets, kidnapping children like Sharlinie and Nurin just 20 metres in front of our homes before raping and killing them. And he says? ‘Okay, Okay, I'm setting up another royal commission.’ The first royal commission on the police had already emphasised four years ago that we must clean out corrupt cops from the force by setting up an independent complaints body called the IPCMC.

Our husband promised to do it, then U-turned, just like how he U-turned on the crooked bridge to Singapore. And what about the current Royal London Circus, er...I mean royal commission on VK Lingam? Bet it will ‘look like justice and sound like justice.’ And then conveniently four years later, ‘cannot remember’ what the hell justice is. So like frustrated wives, three times last year, 2,000 lawyers, 40,000 Bersih folks and 30,000 Hindraf people who could not tahan anymore and went out on the streets to ask our husband to improve himself.

Did he say, ‘Darling, what's wrong? Why are you upset? How can I help?’ No. He slapped us with water cannons and told us to shut up. ‘You have no right to scream out your complaints on the streets. You cannot embarrass me like that. You will jeopardise the stability and harmony of our marriage,’ he told us. ‘You can complain quietly in the backroom. But I'll listen to you only once every five years.’

It's our only chance now. And maybe it's time for us to jual mahal and play ‘hard to get’. Politics is something like the pasar malam. The hawker ‘opens price’ at RM18 but we want to buy something for RM10. As long as we're still standing at the stall, looking a bit ‘too interested’, the price will only go down to RM15. But the moment we walk away, there the hawker comes, desperately chasing after us, ‘Ok, Ok RM10 can-lah.’ So please don't get me wrong, this is not about hating husbands, bashing Pak Lah or being anti-BN. Even real life husbands often lose respect for a housewife if she just smiles even when she's regularly lied to and cheated on.
Our BN husband is not doing his job well simply because there’s no pressure on him to do so. He’s just being human. As it is, Pak Lah even lied about the date of elections when asked by reporters the very day before he announced it. He didn't need to at all. He could just have said, ‘Oh I can’t reveal the date yet.’So why did he lie so casually about it? Because he just doesn’t respect us? So maybe it's time to merajuk and throw a little tantrum.

We can't bear to leave him, but maybe we should tell him: ‘Honey, I ain't gonna wash your clothes or cook your dinner no more till you change your ways. ‘Cos you been hurting me real bad.’ In other words, let our BN husband lose 40 or 50 Parliament seats - in the desperate hope that he will wake up (!), reform and come running back to us - not just with sweet words, but real love. That's the way life is - in both romance and politics.

Remember the Sabah state elections of 1995? The opposition was then in power and the BN went all out to court Sabahans with fantastic promises of a ‘Sabah Baru’ where ‘poverty will be wiped out by the year 2000'. Well, that BN ‘welfare state’ promise has been so, so broken with the government's own Ninth Malaysia Plan admitting that BN-ruled Sabah is the country's poorest state with 23 percent of its' people living in poverty compared to PAS-ruled Kelantan's 10.6 percent.

But at least Sabah got their own university - Universiti Malaysia Sabah. Now in 2008, the BN is promising ‘Kelantan Baru’ where, if only they turned their affections away from PAS towards the BN, they would be loved with hundreds of millions of tax cuts, projects and other goodies.
On Feb28, Najib told the Kelantanese: ‘Just give us a term and see what we can do in that four or five years. If you still feel that we have not delivered, then you have the power to choose others. Four years is not a long time. But if you remain with PAS, you will get more of the same...we are thinking of the Kelantanese and their future.’

Okay, rewind that. Substitute the word Najib for Anwar Ibrahim. Change the word Kelantan for Malaysia, and PAS for BN. What is that called? That’s what the opposition is telling Malaysians! To try them for four years! And what does Pak Lah call that? A ‘dangerous experiment’. An ‘irresponsible’ and ‘unrealistic’ welfare state.

Think about this for a moment. If Kelantan and Sabah had been loyal wives, voting BN time and time again, would our BN husband have taken so much trouble to charm them back with all kinds of tempting promises? Or would he have taken them for granted and forgotten their birthday and wedding anniversary? That's what usually happens when a woman loves a man ‘too much’ despite the man’s glaring faults. The proof of this is in the 2006 Sarawak state elections, the 2007 Ijok by-election and now, the Hindraf awakening.

The Chinese of Sarawak were deeply unhappy that the state government wanted to charge them a whopping 50 percent renewal fee for leasehold land in the name of ‘development’. Imagine paying RM200,000 for a Kuching home, and then being asked to pay another extra RM100,000 or else the government could grab your land and house. Did the state BN care about the Chinese discontentment? Whatever for? Except for one or two seats, Sarawak was a BN ‘fortress’ and most Sarawakians were ‘devoted’ supporters.

In other words, they took the voters for granted. Then came the ‘shocking’ loss of nine seats (out of 71) in the state elections. Result? That renewal fee has been ‘magically’ lowered to 25 percent. Similarly, Ijok in Selangor had been a BN ‘stronghold’ for decades. Like an old wife, it was semi-neglected despite being just one hour's drive from KL. And then another ‘boyfriend’ showed up. When Anwar Ibrahim wanted a showcase opposition victory there, he pointed out that some people did not even have water and electricity supply. Lo and behold, suddenly tens of millions in projects and hand-outs were poured into Ijok within just two weeks.

Did Pak Lah then call it ‘financial irresponsibility’as they are now calling the opposition's generous promises? S Samy Vellu was giving out Singer sewing machines to the Indian estate folks like Santa Claus (like Sabah 1995, this was another ‘welfare state’ campaign). Abracadabra! He waved his magic wand and instantly, once potholed roads were gleaming in fresh tar. A huge rubbish dump that steadfast pro-BN residents had complained about for years (to no avail) was finally relocated.

What a fairy tale ending to one of the biggest ‘buy elections’ ever! And now Hindraf. Why are the Indians pissed off? Well, what did they get for being a faithful wife, solidly voting in the BN for 50 years? One of their landmark temples was torn down just two days before Deepavali last year, along with dozens of others around the country in the past few years. As an American Negro might say, ‘Brother, we don’t get no respect.’

Oh yes, of course, the government says there is ‘no discrimination’ against the community. Haha. You and I know better. And so did 30,000 Indians who said Dey poddah! to that on the streets of KL. They had the guts to stand up for their rights despite repeated warnings and police beatings from Pak Lah (who had promised back in 2004 to ‘listen to the people’ as he wanted them to ‘work with me, not for me’). The Indians call Hindraf makkal sakti (people's power). For our discussion, let's call it the biggest merajuk ever.

Suddenly, all kinds of leaders and academics are publicly analysing how, where and why the BN and MIC should ‘improve its delivery’. Even the demi-god Samy Vellu is sweating and for the first time ever we are seeing full page advertisements in English newspapers avowing that ‘MIC Cares’. And my oh my, Thaipusam was even declared a holiday in KL. What a lot of achievements for just one day of demonstrations!

Of course Pak Lah tried to disguise the real reason for the extra Thaipusam giveaway by limply saying it was because ‘KL ada trafik jam-lah’ during the festival. Poddah to that too. And what if Indians massively vote against the BN this time? Our dear husband can't leave a permanent block of opposition supporters out there, can he? He (or Najib) HAS to try to win them back. Maybe more government jobs? Some scholarships? Amanah Saham India? At last, no more dry leftover crumbs of murruku but some proper mutton curry.

The lesson in romance and politics is clear. We have to play a little ‘hard to get’. We all know what happens when a woman ‘gives in’ too easily to a man, it’s ‘wham, bam, thank-you ma’am’ (pardon my language) and he then rolls over into a snoring sleep, losing all interest. In other words, stop selling ourselves cheap and let’s start to jual mahal. Only then, will our ‘value’ go up.

"How true! Please tell your friends and family members to think like that before they cast their votes!"